beforehand

I'm going to Ireland. I, Elyse, am going to Ireland. For a year. Well, 9 months, but close. And it's coming up fast. Each day I get closer and closer to living my dreams. So why am I scared? I should be over the moon about this. And the truth is that I am, but I'm also petrified.

I realized today in a sort of random epiphany (well, aren't all epiphanies rather random?) that I feel exactly how I did before going to college freshman year. I'm so excited. Really. But truth be told, I really don't know what's going to happen. And that scares me. The fact that I'll be in a foreign country with absolutely none of my friends nor anyone I know in the least, for that matter, is pretty scary. But, as my old boss told me, if you're uncomfortable (or scared out of your mind, in this case) then you're learning. So I'm learning how to travel I guess. It's kind of funny how I try to describe myself; I'm a homebody, but I have to see the world. It isn't a matter of wanting to see the world; I have to. Something within me is compelling me to do so. Ever since I was about seven or so. ...I was clearing through some very old papers the other day (the other day being last month or so) and I found a project I did in first or second grade. It was a book on Ireland, complete with little crayon drawings of supposed Irish people with some random statistics I must have googled. And I couldn't help but smile. All this time I had said that I had wanted this, to be able to go to Ireland, for as long as I could remember. And here it was; living proof that I have always had this fascination, or rather fixation, with Ireland. I guess it's because Mom and Dad always taught my sister and I of our heritage and how it was important to know where you came from. For some reason, out of all the "mut" in me, (I swear I'm just about every kind of European you can find... plus Guatemalan.) Ireland stuck.

So this huge rambling goes on and on, as it always does, with seemingly no point right? Nope. Here's the point: I need to focus my nerves and reaffirm the fact that I love this country. Somehow, I love this place I've never been. Somehow. And I get to live my dreams. How many people get to do that? I'm so very, very lucky.

SO this blog is to track my travels, to pour out those thoughts I have at, oh, 12:14 pm, and to share my very lucky experiences with... the internet :). With no worries about grammar... and I would say spelling, but everyone knows thats inevitable. Except for the occasional slip-up. :) So excuse the lol, idk, and :) cuz this will be be... uncensored.


Goodnight and sweet dreams.
Elyse