you'll always be in my heart.

i know that people are ready for me to be home. i am too.
but please understand that tonight i need to be upset.
it needs to be okay for me to not be able to stop crying.
this knot in my stomach, though uncomfortable, is completely valid.
im leaving a country i love.
a city i love.
people i love.
it hurts so much to have two places and groups of people that are so deeply imprinted in my heart
its just past 3am here. oly and i have to be up in less than 2 hours to get ready to fly to glasgow. and im in bits. i cant stop crying and i feel like a part of me is breaking off for me to leave in dublin.
but its okay. it has to be.
God doesnt give you more than you can handle, right?
so things have to work out. they just do.
i have to come back to dublin; see the people i love; the friends who have become family.
yes ive only lived here for 9 months and yes i lived in washington forever before that, but dublin has captivated me and the people here have swept me away.
i dont think i ever expected to love this place so much.
i love everything about it.
i love the fact that im so close to the city. (big change from tiny silverdale/ bellingham)
i love the amazing friendships ive built here
i love the double decker buses (even though i miss driving)
i love the architecture, the ACCENT; just....everything. there are too many things for me to name off. too many parts of me i left scattered around ireland to put into a list.
ireland; i love you. thanks for being the change i needed in my life. thanks for helping me become a grown up. thanks for loving me back. <3

tomorrow marks the opening pages of the next chapter of my life;
senior year
living with 4 of the most amazing girls
...and life after ireland
its going to be hard, and i know that ive changed, but i hope its for the better.

tomorrow is glasgow, scotland.
but first its dealing with baggage restrictions on the flight and undoubtedly having to pay an arm and a leg to haul my life all around europe then back to america.
through all the heartache i feel right now, theres still a glimmer of excitement. its going to be a wonderful trip with oly; my soul sister. love that girl so much. after 18 years of friendship, id say we're family :)


so to america:
i love you and i'll see you soon.

to ireland:
i love you, please dont forget me.


love and millions of hugs,
elyse
xx